We have had some visits to our peditrician recently for colds and what I thought were ear infections, that turned out to just be teething. No fun at all. With Ryder, when he was 6 months old, he hit a really fussy, sleepless couple of weeks that I wrote of as teething, but then came to find out that he had a pretty bad double ear infection and I felt horrible! Poor little guy with a mother who had NO CLUE what she was doing. Well that whole experience made me THAT mother that calls the doctor and makes appointments for everything because I am so worried that something is really wrong.
(I love my pediatrician and she is always so calm and reassuring. She is so good with us!)
The worst part is the sleepless nights. Due to teething, Eden hadn't slept her normal routine of 10-12 hours since the beginning of January. That is over a month where I hadn't slept longer than 3 hours. It's been so frustrating to feel strung out ALL THE TIME! I don't want to be a mom that is just surviving or just getting by. I want to have a family (Kit included) that is thriving and growing and being challenged and live in a home filled with joy. Does anyone out there feel that way too? I know it's seasons and it's not always this way, but it sure can feel like it sometimes.
There is nothing like parenthood to put you on your knees. It's funny, I think when I am praying for balance and peace in our home, I'm realizing that that doesn't mean it will always be peaceful or calm, it just means that I am acknowledging who the CREATOR of peace is, and finding peace and calm in His presence, despite what is happening around me. What an incredible Saviour we get to be in relationship with! He cares so deeply for us... even this strung out mama who sometimes can't put a coherent sentence together...
So all that to say, I am thankful for a family that forgives me and is patient with me. They support me and help me and encourage me, even on my yuckiest of days. God sure spoiled me when He put them in my life♥.
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Kit leaves today for a three day conference in San Diego. I miss him already! I'd like to tell you that my neediness is linked with my sleep deprivation, but no, I'm this needy with Kit even when I am fully rested♥.
